July 18th 2014

I know I haven't posted in a long time, things have just gotten crazy around here.  We were finally able to get pregnant with our third, and recently found out its a boy!  We also got a puppy a few months ago so she has been keeping me busy too.

As far as Katie transition, we are pretty much at a stand still.  She still hasn't started taking hormones or anything yet, and we are trying to get her more clothes.  She is waiting on the hormones until the baby is born, and we figure out if this is in fact our last one or if we want to freeze sperm or something as a way to make us both happy.  I am thinking I want another kid, but I also don't want to ask her to wait even longer to start her hormones, I know she is really excited to get to start them, and she has been very willing to wait this long already.  

I'm pretty sure last time I posted I talked had mentioned that we came out to all of our extended families.  This past weekend was the first time we saw my mom's side of the family since then, and I have to say it was awesome!  A few of my cousin's made a point to at least try to say Katie a few times, which made her very happy.  My one cousin is pregnant, and is having a baby shower in August, and told Katie that the guys were gonna be at the bar in the same building as the shower, and that she is welcome to come to the shower or hang out with the guys whatever she is more comfortable with.  I was grateful that my cousin just made that offer and I didn't have to ask later about what she would prefer.  All of my aunts and uncles treated her the same way they always  have.  No one tried to avoid her, or ask inappropriate questions.  It was a really wonderful vacation with my family.  

I also wanted to touch on how proud I am of Katie.  Her work doesn't have anything to protect her (or anyone of the LGBT community for that matter) from getting fired.  So he has started talking to HR and is working on getting policies put in place to protect LGBT people as well as protection spouses/domestic partners.  She came out to HR so that they can understand why it is very important to her, and also to have some policies put in place that will help make her transition there easier.  I'm really proud of her for putting herself out there not only for herself, but for anyone else who works there who isn't out.  The area we live in is very conservative so we have no idea how many other people there are LGBT.  Katie did hear of one woman who is a lesbian, and has a domestic partner who has kids, but she is not really out, she is forced to hide it because she is afraid of what would happen if she came out.  We're hoping that Katie and this other girl will be able to touch base with help of a mutual co-worker so that she knows she is not alone and could perhaps help Katie with the battle she is fighting.  It really takes a special kind of person to be willing to start a conversation like this at their place of work and try to get things changed.  

Sorry my post was kind of all over the place today, but I just wanted to give you all a quick recap of what we have been up to for the past few months :-)

January 26, 2014

So a week or so ago we decided to email a large group of family (about 30 people) and tell them about Katie.  We got a few emails, and texts from a few people saying how wonderfully supportive they are of her (especially from her family).  My family has been trying to support us, they just seem to have a hard time with the idea that I might be ok.  They have been calling my parents asking about how I doing and what about the kids and so forth.  While I'm happy that they care about me and love me and want to make sure I'm ok, when I defend myself and say that I'm ok, and inform them how I feel its like they don't believe me.  One of my aunts in particular has been trying really hard to be supportive, but is kind of failing at it.  She has a friend who is trans and is married to another trans person, and she has been talking to one of them and getting info about how transitioning goes which is great!  However they have left her with the idea that transitioning only happens one way.  You HAVE to get the surgery or you will kill yourself, and you will spend all you money on her and how are you gonna pay for it all and so forth.  When I told her that as of now she doesn't feel she needs the surgery, and if that changed we would talk about it together and figure things out together, she told me that we had to figure things out now because shes not gonna wait... I think I know how my spouse feels more then she does.  I know there are a lot of trans people out there who can't just do it half way, they have to do it all, and that is fine, but that doesn't mean that all trans people have to do it that way.  She keeps telling me that I need to do what is right for me, and not put myself aside just for her, but then when I say that we are planning on having another baby because it has always been the plan and its what we decided on, she tells me I'm crazy and that it will cost us so much extra money... so when I do actually do something for myself she is against it?  That doesn't even make since.  I want 3 kids, so I put my foot down (with little fight from Katie on the matter) and asked her to let us finish our family before she started taking anything. She asked if I felt I could leave because I should be able to, and when I told her I could, she then told me that I shouldn't have to leave Katie should and she should pay me and the kids!  Uhh it was just like I had no right answer.  Is it so terrible that I can just accept my wife for who she is and just be happy with her how we are!! I might post more on this late, but for now my kids need me.