May 22, 2013

I just have so many doubts right now.  When my first son was about 8-9 months old, I stated getting baby fever really bad, and we started trying for our second.  Now that my second son is 9 months old, I keep expecting the baby fever to start any day now.  Instead when I think about getting pregnant, I just think about that fact that we are already in debt, and having kids is expensive, and my husband wants to get stuff done, and I don't know how to afford that.  I still have the doubts of just bringing another kid into all of this.  But at the same time, we already have 2 so whats the difference if we have another one to go through all of this too.  My husband suggested waiting a year and a half to have another kid since he should get 2 raises in that time, and maybe a promotion, but I want my kids all close together.  I know a year and a half isn't that long, but when you add in the 9 months of pregnancy too our oldest will be 6, and our youngest will be getting into preschool, and then will I really want to have a young baby again? I think I'm just stressing myself out about it all more then I need to.  I think I'm just stressing out as a whole, and having a baby is just in there somewhere and has become the focus of it all.