January 26, 2014

So a week or so ago we decided to email a large group of family (about 30 people) and tell them about Katie.  We got a few emails, and texts from a few people saying how wonderfully supportive they are of her (especially from her family).  My family has been trying to support us, they just seem to have a hard time with the idea that I might be ok.  They have been calling my parents asking about how I doing and what about the kids and so forth.  While I'm happy that they care about me and love me and want to make sure I'm ok, when I defend myself and say that I'm ok, and inform them how I feel its like they don't believe me.  One of my aunts in particular has been trying really hard to be supportive, but is kind of failing at it.  She has a friend who is trans and is married to another trans person, and she has been talking to one of them and getting info about how transitioning goes which is great!  However they have left her with the idea that transitioning only happens one way.  You HAVE to get the surgery or you will kill yourself, and you will spend all you money on her and how are you gonna pay for it all and so forth.  When I told her that as of now she doesn't feel she needs the surgery, and if that changed we would talk about it together and figure things out together, she told me that we had to figure things out now because shes not gonna wait... I think I know how my spouse feels more then she does.  I know there are a lot of trans people out there who can't just do it half way, they have to do it all, and that is fine, but that doesn't mean that all trans people have to do it that way.  She keeps telling me that I need to do what is right for me, and not put myself aside just for her, but then when I say that we are planning on having another baby because it has always been the plan and its what we decided on, she tells me I'm crazy and that it will cost us so much extra money... so when I do actually do something for myself she is against it?  That doesn't even make since.  I want 3 kids, so I put my foot down (with little fight from Katie on the matter) and asked her to let us finish our family before she started taking anything. She asked if I felt I could leave because I should be able to, and when I told her I could, she then told me that I shouldn't have to leave Katie should and she should pay me and the kids!  Uhh it was just like I had no right answer.  Is it so terrible that I can just accept my wife for who she is and just be happy with her how we are!! I might post more on this late, but for now my kids need me.