I know I haven't posted in a while, things were going really good again... for a while at least. Now I am just confused. I want so bad for everything to just work out, but I have so many doubts. I've tried talking to my husband about some of them but he just ends up really up set, and I just feel worse. I have my doubts that I can make this work. He told me the other day that my opinion is all that matters, and as long as I can see him as a woman everything will be ok. Thats a lot to put on me. I am gonna be the hardest person to convince. He is my husband, and father to our children, how am I suppose to see him as a woman.
I told him that I still had a hope that maybe this was just a phase, and it would pass, and things would just be normal. I've been trying to talk myself out of it, but its just stayed in the back of my mind. He told me very straight forwardly that its not a phase, and he was worried about me that I thought it was. Ever since that convo, I guess I lost all hope of it being a phase, and with that some of my hope that I can handle this.
Everyday I torture myself thinking of the pro's and con's of staying. I LOVE my husband, and he treats me amazingly well, and really spoils me. I know I will never meet a kinder person, but I to be put though all of this stress as he changes. Seeing him from time to time in woman's clothes is so hard already, how am I gonna handle it when it is an everyday thing. Does it get easier? or is this just life? I know that things are only going to get a lot harder before they stand a chance of getting easier. But what if it just keeps getting harder, and never gets easier?
I guess only time will tell.
I feel I should also mention that I'm also just a bit down since we recently have started trying to have another baby, and the first try was not successful. I know it was only one try, and some people try for years, but I was convinced it was successful, and clearly it wasn't. So overall I have been overly hormonal.
